what hurts.

its never what you do
its never what you say
its never what you forget or even remember
its not the criticisms that you drop on my head
its my expectations of you
I expect you to do things..
I expect you to say things..
i expect you to remember or forget..

So why am i hurting myself?

Everything is Fake.

For every moment that I have where I feel like I need to rap and be heard
I have countless moments where I just do not give a fuck. I used to want to rap because of the life that they painted for rappers: Cars, Money, girls, not a care in the world, right? But as I grew in years I found that even a care-free life comes with a price, and comes with its own set of worries and stressors and in actuality isn't really all that 'care-free'
I look at my grandparents...
i'd say they live "the life"
happy in their quaint little yellow house
watching the family that they raised grow and spread out into the world.
not a need in the world, just basking in love.
to me that's real. that's a real life.
this rap shit is so fucking fake to me.
i'm not even a pinky toe into the game and all i feel from it is negativity.
I always thought i'd just put my heart into these songs
and people would possibly love them and i'd be able to spread that love.
to a point where that was my only goal.
but i people don't want reality,
instead it seems that ppl want to live in hell, while constantly being shown pictures of heaven, which to me seems like the dumbest shit in the world.
completely unaware that the people showing these 'pictures' are only concerned with manipulating your thoughts so that you become a machine.
a machine to give them power and money.
the life that's broadcast to us via our little TV screens is not life.
life is whats going on. life is living. life is in emotions, life is in people
its not in these pre-packaged boxes labeled 'life' that show up on our doorsteps.
(got way sidetracked)
fuck it i'm going to sleep.

_mC

Top5InContinued:

BluStyle:
RandomAsHellButHeresARealHonest
like,listOfMyTop5ThingsIDoNotFckWith1.TheAmountofTimeitTakestoMix2.Insecurities
3.Stringbeans4.beingWhipless5.BeingLikebull-_-;;;;;

bye.

_mC

ThankYou Lyrics(inc.)

Shattered the mirrors-
image that I once had
of myself and seeing my face on the mags
about face, toss my old face in the trash
gram' told me 'bout this gift that I have for insight
so the deeper i'd search,
the further I got lost in God...no church
like every atom is a bomb waiting to burst
and every nerve ending of mine
just hurts for the truth and its use?
and weapon..but
MY 45. is all for all of us
seduced by the wants, if you got all ya need
then the war for your mind is lost, in the greed
lost in the speed of life...light speed
..drive slow, nigga GLC
redefine my...success as just peace
with everything I see but more-so me
and shouts to Kodi unseen for so long
said "we should chill and I really like ya songs"
so... I ..now know I connect
with that part of ya body... right about ya neck so...
feel free to move hips, move legs, move lips
tell folks bout...this
and this a thanks in advance
an unborn child's like an un-made fan..ThankYou

Man... I lost friends over dumb shit.
you ever lost friends over dumb shit?
I'm talkin bout..one minute you cool
and the next you got issues won't confront shit?
but ..who am I to question
in every loss I ever took, gained a lesson
silver lining that makes for golden rhymin'
(....)


_mC
GodLee mC
-ThankYou

Drop the World

Its hard when family makes it hard to love em

"Skeletons in my closet
Demons in my past
but a song in my heart
and a dream in my grasp
gems that I drop, its a present in my raps
sincerely me, not signed but autographed"
_mC

Uh-Oh.

Uh-oh

::opens chest...looks inside::
Hmm...
::closes chest::

:-/



_mC

.Because that's the language I speak in.

Suffering.

Suffering is fed
'"foods' that feed our suffering are toxins
we must not ingest toxins.
no matter how good they may taste
because in the long run, we only end up eating away at ourselves.
and our capacity for joy.
Some people just got an appetite for destruction.

Zen.

_mC