I don't want to be some bitter young fuck, shooting out subliminal thoughts to let people know how I feel anymore. I thought that doing so would be a good way to cope with the emotional turmoil and make me feel better, but its only turned me into something i'm not. I'm not this guy who enjoys negativity in any way shape or form, and I never have been, but when faced with such a betrayal how does one react? Vengeance in mindset...(or so I've heard...)and I'm not going to lie, I've sat... and thought to myself "How can I make this person feel the way I feel, or hurt the way i've been hurting?", and I came up with a couple of answers, but upon the first leg of putting them into action I caught myself, and realized that this is just not the person that I am.
So instead I tried to just bury the hatchet and prematurely be beyond what I was feeling. So I smiled, and exchanged kind words, all the while bearing this seemingly inescapable weight. I knew I was not happy with this person, yet I put up the facade...which only kept the wound open. And served to make me something that I am not.
(to be cont'd)